Hi, friends! It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. Sorry about that. I’ve been really busy with life, traveling, and more. Last time I posted I talked about my anxiety and all that I experience when I go through it. After my episode I decided I needed a break. I wanted to be home with my family, so that’s exactly what I did.
I am originally from Irving, TX. Growing up I always wanted out of Irving. Irving is one of those cities that people always say they’re going to get out of, and they never do. I didn’t want to be one of those people. I had to find a way out. My way out was college. I decided to move to Arkansas for school and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
Irving….is different. While some people love it, some hate it. I was one of those people that hated it. Don’t get me wrong, Irving is home. I grew up watching people working hard for what they wanted, nothing was handed to anyone, it is a very prideful city. I know that I am the person that I am today because of Irving. I just feel like I did not fit in in Irving. In many ways. I won’t go into specifics because I do not want to offend anyone that loves Irving, but yeah, I needed out of that city.
When I moved to Arkansas I was relieved. It was a nice break from the crazy city. I live in a “city” now but it is nothing compared to Irving and Dallas. I felt like I could breath in my new city. I explored and found myself. I am still finding myself, honestly. My new home has made me become an adult. Moving to Arkansas was scary. I was completely on my own. My parents, while fully supporting me emotionally, did not support me financially. Not because they couldn’t, but because I did not want them to. I have paid my own rent, bills, gas, groceries, and miscellaneous activities/things for the past three years. All while being a full time student and working a full time (some times part time) job. I take so much pride in that. Not many 20 year old’s can say that.
Although I love Arkansas and I don’t see myself leaving any time soon, my anxiety episode a couple of weeks ago made me rethink things. When going through everything, I missed my family and boyfriend a lot. I missed being with the people that care about me the most. Especially when I felt so alone. After thinking about it so much, and going home for the weekend I thought to myself, “I think I could come back to the DFW area and live here again.” Now, if you know me personally, you know how big of a deal that is for me. For the longest time I have wanted nothing to do with the DFW area. I never thought I would feel that way, or would ever think about moving back home. Now, I could never live in Irving. I would go crazy. But I can see myself living somewhere like Grapevine, Euless, Forney, etc.
I decided that I would go home for a weekend to see what it was like. To see if I could handle being in that atmosphere again. After a good weekend, I went again. And again. And again. And again. I went home a lot. A lot, a lot. And I completely loved it. The more and more that I go the more and more I fall in love with the DFW. I’ve loved being surrounded by my family and my boyfriend. I have loved being home lately, and I am looking forward to going back in three weekends.
I was on the phone with my boyfriend, Santiago, last night, and we were talking about how I am looking forward to someday moving back to the DFW and he said, “You’ll always find a way back home. No matter what the situation.” And he is so right about that. No matter what, you will always find a way back home. You can change your address, friends, lifestyle, hair, clothes, etc. but somehow, you will always find a way, or a tie, back home. I mean look at me, I hated Irving and now I’m thinking about moving back someday. If someone would have told me that I would be missing home three years ago I would have laughed in their face and would have said, “Yeah, right!”
If you are feeling stuck, if you feel like you need to get out of your city, town, valley, whatever, do it! This is your sign! Go and explore. Live in a new city. Go find yourself. Who knows, it might be the best thing you ever do! You will never know if you don’t try. I promise you, it will be okay. It will be worth it. Go explore. Go do what you have always wanted to do. Don’t worry about the “what if’s,” just do it! I promise you it will be okay.
Just remember, you’ll always find a way back home.
With Love,
Kim
Quick little side note, I think I want to make this a lifestyle blog. Although I love talking to y’all and hearing from some of y’all, I want to share my passion with y’all about some other things. I will still talk to y’all. I love knowing that some of you can relate to what I am going through, but from here on out I think I am going to try to make this a lifestyle blog. And who knows, it may not work out, but it’s worth a shot, right? Until next time friends, I’ll try to post more frequently. 😉
Kimberly Guevara 